Look, we have got guests coming, remember? So I had better get on with my turkey. (Eddie: What are you going to do with it?) Well, it's the season of goodwill and peace on earth, so I thought I'd chop both its feet off, rip out its innards, strip it, shove an onion up its arse and bung it in a very hot place for four hours until it's completely burnt. [Bottom]
View quotes by Rik MayallYou never replace a great scholar who retires. If you try to do that, you end up with
burnt-out volcanoes.
View quotes by Guido CalabresiWas this the face that launched a thousand ships,
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss!
View quotes by Christopher MarloweMy husband says I feed him like he's a god: every meal is a burnt offering.
View quotes by Rhonda HansomeIf the French noblesse had been capable of playing cricket with their peasants, their chateaux would never have been burnt.
View quotes by G M TrevelyanKeep Darwinian thinking out of cosmology, out of psychology, out of human culture, out of ethics, politics, and religion!
View quotes by Daniel Dennett'There are so many people out there taking the p*ss out of me that if I can't take the p*ss out of myself there's something going wrong.'
View quotes by Victoria BeckhamThe best emotions to write out of are anger and fear or dread. The least energizing emotion to write out of is admiration. It is very difficult to write out of because the basic feeling that goes with admiration is a passive contemplative mood.
View quotes by Susan SontagSo I step out of the shower, and I look out the window, and I notice the garbage man looking right in at me. So I say, 'Did you get a good look?' and he says, 'Not completely, turn around.' Then he smiled and he was missing a tooth, and that's when the romance went right out of it.
View quotes by Peri GilpinI have made it quite clear that a unified Ireland was one solution that is out. A second solution was a confederation of two states. That is out. A third solution was joint authority. That is out-that is a derogation of sovereignty.
View quotes by Margaret ThatcherThings turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out
View quotes by Art LinkletterHere are a list of Quotes from the delightful Northern Irish Comedian Danny McCrossan
Even the most powerful lie detector invented couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman, however, women rarely have lunch with lie detectors… - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian
See women need to talk because they feel like they have to have adequate levels of communication in order to sustain a healthy and open relationship, whereas men are only driven to speak because of matters beyond their control, like not being able to find clean socks. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
In Pagan times, uninspired people made sacrifices at the altar, and today, thanks to marraige, many still do. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
When women are bored they do the usual things, they eat, they go shopping, they neurotically judge the looks of other women, but men, men invade another country! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Anything that I’ve ever done that ended up worthwhile, initially scared me to death. Wether it was walking out on stage for that very first time, or asking a girl to include me in her plans for the future, but you know what, You have to risk everything sometimes or you risk even more. It’s not the challenges we face that define us, it’s the actions we take. - Danny McCrossan -Northern irish Comedian.
Everyone had big plans for me when I was younger, it was a cliche “Danny can do anything he wants to do” So I did the only thing I ever thought was worthwhile, bring laughter into the world. How I came to been seen as somewhat of a dissapointment to all those people who had made plans for me, well that still makes me chuckle. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
You learn alot in your teenage years, for instance I learned that if you’re ever being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a little tunnel, then onto a mini seesaw and then jump through a ring of fire, they’ve trained for that y’see. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Asking people in Northern Ireland what they think of politics is like asking the Jews what they think of Hitler. - Danny MCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
There are too many warnings on packaging these days - defrost before eating - Use as directed - I mean, what’s next, you buy a packet of condoms, warning - may contain nuts! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I say don’t conform, don’t allow yourself to be pigeon holed, it’s no good for the soul, and the pigeon doesn’t enjoy it either. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I remember how nervous I was my very first gig and I remember when I walked out on stage and spoke those words, how the audience laughed and laughed. I swore, there and then, that one day I would have my revenge. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a door? - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
View quotes by Danny McCrossanOnce somebody finds out [where you are], you have to get the hell out of wherever you are. People freak out. And the photographers, they’re vicious [on paparazzi]
View quotes by Kristen Stewart'I could be unbelievably horrible and stupid. On tours I'd get on a plane, then get off it, maybe six or eight times. I'd walk out of a hotel suite because I didn't like the colour of the bedspread. I remember looking out of my room at the Inn on the Park one day and saying, 'It's too windy. Can someone please do something about it.'
View quotes by Elton John'Every building you come out of, there is a parasite there exercising his constitutional right to make money out of being a parasite, trying to take your photo. Frankly, folks, I go to work, I do my job. I really concentrate, and if you go to the cinema, pay your money and have a good time. That's the end of it, as far as I'm concerned.'
View quotes by Russell CroweI used to say to my auntie, 'You throw my fu*kin' poetry out, and you'll regret it when I'm famous,' and she threw the bast*rd stuff out. I never forgave her for not treating me like a fu*kin' genius or whatever I was when I was a child.
View quotes by John LennonIf they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
View quotes by Muhammad Ali'I've got a black woolen hat and it's got PERVERT written across the front of it. It's the name of the clothing label. And I was with my wife and my baby at the supermarket and I didn't think. I just put my hat on Clara's head, because it was cold. And the looks. I couldn't figure out why I was getting death looks. And then I realized my 10-month old baby's wearing a hat with the word pervert written on it and these people were like, 'There's Satan! There's Satan out with his kid!' And then I made a point of her wearing it every time we went there.'
View quotes by Ewan McGregorTo-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth, Act 5 Scene 5
View quotes by William ShakespeareDarkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
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