*HA!quote*

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This quotation collection was created by Felicity Blackwell, and has been viewed 32233 times

Things that make me laugh

There are 38 quotations in this collection:

Quote 1

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln


Quote 2

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
- Abraham Lincoln


Quote 3

I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.
- Abbie Hoffman


Quote 4

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.
- Adam Sandler


Quote 5

I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.
- Ade Akinbiyi


Quote 6

The human race has improved everything, but the human race.

- Adlai E Stevenson


Quote 7

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
- Adlai E Stevenson

Felicity Blackwell says:

I have confidence...


Quote 8

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.
- Adlai E Stevenson


Quote 9

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

- Adlai Stevenson


Quote 10

A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.
- Adlai Stevenson


Quote 11

I think that a model should not diversify too much from his/her objectives.
- Adriana Karembeu

Felicity Blackwell says:

Those objectives being....?


Quote 12

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.
- Adrienne Gusoff


Quote 13

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
- Aesop


Quote 14

I don't think necessity is the mother of invention - invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble.
- Agatha Christie


Quote 15

Or what Mr. O' Bannon, are you going to kick my ass? I've read all about your ridiculous escapades. So, how does it feel to kill a Mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would believe such cowboy drivel.
- Aiden Gillen


Quote 16

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
- Al Gore


Quote 17

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another.

- Alan Alda


Quote 18

There's a lot to do when you're a kid - spiders to catch, girls to poke in the eye - stuff to be getting on with.
- Alan Davies


Quote 19

Perhaps sport should accept sponsorship from the Mafia. They kill fewer people than smoking.
- Alan Hubbard


Quote 20

I have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade

- Alan Seeger


Quote 21

It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract.
- Alan Shepherd


Quote 22

I can't towel-dry my hair, because it'll tangle. So I put a towel on the bed and smack my head on the bed, like, ten times, so all the water will drain out'
- Alanis Morissette


Quote 23

It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.
- Albert Camus


Quote 24

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
- Albert Camus


Quote 25

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
- Albert Einstein


Quote 26

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein


Quote 27

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves
- Albert Einstein


Quote 28

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer


Quote 29

So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable. (Ends and Means)
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 30

Orthodoxy is the diehard of the world of thought. It learns not, neither can it forget.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 31

What with making their way and enjoying what they have won, heroes have no time to think. But the sons of heroes - ah, they have all the necessary leisure.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 32

My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 33

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 34

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 35

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 36

An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 37

A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumour.
- Aldous Huxley


Quote 38

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
- Alexai Sayle


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