The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin quote At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin quote Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin quote Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin quote I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin quote What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin quote I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin quote Biography
American comedian