It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers quote My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers quote My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
Joan Rivers quote My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers quote No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.
Joan Rivers quote She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers quote Suit the action to the world, the world to the action, with this special observance, that you overstep not the modesty of nature.
Joan Rivers quote Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers quote Biography
Comedian
