Phyllis Diller Quotes

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller quote

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type
Phyllis Diller quote

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
Phyllis Diller quote

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
Phyllis Diller quote

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller quote

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves
Phyllis Diller quote

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator.
Phyllis Diller quote

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller quote

Biography

US Comedienne, 1917+