Steven Wright Quotes

Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.
Time | Steven Wright quote

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright quote

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright quote

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright quote

What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright quote

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright quote

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright quote

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright quote

Biography

Comedian