Funniest Ever Quotes
Funniest quotes? There is an embarrassment of riches to choose from. Here are the top ten funniest ever quotes as voted by you, the discerning reader!
- 'Winston, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee'
'Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it'
- Winston Churchill to Lady Astor
- Make crime pay - become a lawyer,
- Will Rogers
- A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
- Grouch Marx
- If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving.
- Henry Youngman
- Men are like bank accounts - without a lot of money they don't generate much interest!
- I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
- Douglas Adams
- I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced, I keep a house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them were serious.
- Alan Minter
- 'There's a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari'
'That's his rear safety light'.
- Murray Walker to his co-commentator
- Bart, with $10000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!
- Homer Simpson
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