Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adult
Thomas SzaszI'll say one thing for television. It has taken children and educated them far beyond anything I was ever involved with as a child.
Bill BixbyJonathan Edwards - he has his faith, his health, his wife and his children, but more importantly, he has his Olympic gold medal.
Brian AlexanderI've noticed that men and women react very differently to other people's children.
Women don't make a distinction. Kids are kids. They lavish as much attention and concern no matter whose child it is.
Steve ZahnChildren are generally pretty small, so you get passed all over the place [on why kids don't serve and volley]
Pat RafterIt was the heaviest costume I've ever work - it was like carrying several small children around with me all the time [Queen Victoria costume]
Pauline Collins'I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much c*** as I used to.'
Pamela AndersonChildren were chasing an idiot boy up the village street to the churchyard
Ellen GlasgowAt present, intelligent people do not have their children vaccinated, nor does the law now compel them to. The result is not, as the Jennerians prophesied, the extermination of the human race by smallpox; on the contrary more people are now killed by vaccination than by smallpox.
George Bernard ShawThe
singer's got a real edge to his voice. Sounds very. [on Manc band The Children]
Dawn ActonI believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
Jack HandyI want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.
Mike TysonThose who educate children well are more to be honoured than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.
AristotleFew of us will forget the wail of mingled grief, rage and horror which rose from the camp when the Indians returned to it and recognised their slaughtered warriors, women, and children.
John GibbonBefore our kids start coming home from Iraq in body bags and women and children start dying in Baghdad, I need to know, what did Iraq do to us?
Susan SarandonGod was preparing me, not for victory on court, but for running a foundation to enhance the lives of children with cancer.
Andrea JaggerPeople with bad consciences always fear the judgment of children.
Mary McCarthyChildren are completely egoistic; they feel their needs intensely and strive ruthlessly to satisfy them.
Sigmund FreudYesterday at The Oval had to be the most thrilling moment of my life... perhaps after the birth of my children. [on England Ashes win 2005]
Gladstone SmallMy first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can't make your children carry.
Bill BrysonThere are four stages in a marriage. First there's the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
Norman MailerMen are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
William PennI would quite happily do it for nothing [on news he was the only presenter to get paid for the Charity fundraiser, Children in Need]
Terry WoganMy breasts have gone saggy after three children so I wanted to perk them up and make them smaller [on having breast reduction surgery]
JordanFew things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
Doug LarsonThe planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we do. It is a purer act of faith than the procreation of children.
Thornton WilderI have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Harry S TrumanCome children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.
William Makepeace ThackerayMine eyes do fail with tears, my bowels are troubled, my liver is poured upon the earth, for the destruction of the daughter of my people; because the children and the sucklings swoon in the streets of the city.
BibleWhen I turn up at a trendy party, all the youngsters look like they could be my illegitimate love children.
Laurence Llewelyn-BowenChildren aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden NashIt is a masterpiece of the devil to make us believe that children cannot understand religion. Would Christ have made a child the standard of faith if He had known that it was not capable of understanding His words?
Dwight MoodyBooks, the children of the brain.
Jonathan SwiftThe children of warriors in our country learn the grace and caution that come from a permanent sense of estrangement.
Pat ConroyAbout age thirty most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.
Judy CarterLooking after two young children keeps me on my toes and hopefully fit enough to cope with the jungle
Kimberley DaviesWe are creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love!
The Children of the revolution
Moulin RougeToday has been an extremely emotional day, and has made me realise just how important
the campaign is to protect children in war [Portugal 2004]
Anders FriskI have also seen children successfully surmounting the effects of an evil inheritance. That is due to purity being an inherent attribute of the soul.
Mahatma GandhiHumans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P J O'RourkeThe first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence DarrowI've got three children at home. I just timed the wickets before they went to school so they could watch... To get the wicket of Sachin is always a great pleasure and to get him bat-pad on a turning wicket is a great joy.
Shaun UdalBut if thou livest in Adam, and Adam reigns in thee, then thou art not a child of God, nor born again of him. For since thou art overcome by the world, and since the prince therefore rules in thee by pride, ambition and selflove, thou art on this very account to be numbered amongst the children of the devil.
John ArndtChildren have more need of models than of critics.
Carolyn CoatsEvery act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily...
Thomas SzaszI'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, 'Never mind! I'll do it myself.'
Erma BombeckWrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.
Doris DayWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen'Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived.'
Michael JacksonBig Brother is on the march. A plan to subject all children to mental health screening is underway, and the pharmaceuticals are gearing up for bigger sales of psychotropic drugs.
Phyllis Schlafly Pick another category
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