After a
gig I get to the hotel all psyched-up from being on stage and get stuck into 'Homes and Interiors' magazine.
View quotes by Gary BarlowWhen the time came to begin I was so completely terrified that my legs turned numb [on her first
gig]
View quotes by Minnie DriverWe played the
gig in Seattle in a 300-capacity club, and 27 people turned up.
View quotes by Matt JayA lot of comedians, when they have a bad
gig, will blame everything but themselves. I just know I was rubbish.
View quotes by Allan CarrHere are a list of Quotes from the delightful Northern Irish Comedian Danny McCrossan
Even the most powerful lie detector invented couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman, however, women rarely have lunch with lie detectors… - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian
See women need to talk because they feel like they have to have adequate levels of communication in order to sustain a healthy and open relationship, whereas men are only driven to speak because of matters beyond their control, like not being able to find clean socks. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
In Pagan times, uninspired people made sacrifices at the altar, and today, thanks to marraige, many still do. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
When women are bored they do the usual things, they eat, they go shopping, they neurotically judge the looks of other women, but men, men invade another country! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Anything that I’ve ever done that ended up worthwhile, initially scared me to death. Wether it was walking out on stage for that very first time, or asking a girl to include me in her plans for the future, but you know what, You have to risk everything sometimes or you risk even more. It’s not the challenges we face that define us, it’s the actions we take. - Danny McCrossan -Northern irish Comedian.
Everyone had big plans for me when I was younger, it was a cliche “Danny can do anything he wants to do” So I did the only thing I ever thought was worthwhile, bring laughter into the world. How I came to been seen as somewhat of a dissapointment to all those people who had made plans for me, well that still makes me chuckle. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
You learn alot in your teenage years, for instance I learned that if you’re ever being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a little tunnel, then onto a mini seesaw and then jump through a ring of fire, they’ve trained for that y’see. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Asking people in Northern Ireland what they think of politics is like asking the Jews what they think of Hitler. - Danny MCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
There are too many warnings on packaging these days - defrost before eating - Use as directed - I mean, what’s next, you buy a packet of condoms, warning - may contain nuts! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I say don’t conform, don’t allow yourself to be pigeon holed, it’s no good for the soul, and the pigeon doesn’t enjoy it either. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I remember how nervous I was my very first
gig and I remember when I walked out on stage and spoke those words, how the audience laughed and laughed. I swore, there and then, that one day I would have my revenge. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a door? - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
View quotes by Danny McCrossanEach
gig should be unique. You're always treading that line between keeping yourself fresh and giving people something they want to hear.
View quotes by Brian MayWhen I was younger and did a stand-up
gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.
View quotes by Adam SandlerBuy Fantastic Items at Amazon:
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