Joke Quotes

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If the joke wears thin, if in fact people begin to take it very seriously, and if people really are getting so wound up that it's very difficult to carry off the joke, then I think it is time to go. [on why he decided to leave the 2008 version of the show]
View quotes by John Sargeant

"If they can't take a joke f**k them."
View quotes by Bette Midler

If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
View quotes by Jimmy Nail

A rich man's joke is always funny.
View quotes by Thomas Edward Brown

The gods too are fond of a joke.
View quotes by Aristotle

Sex is God's joke on human beings.
View quotes by Bette Davis

You've really got to start hitting the books because it's no joke out here.
View quotes by Spike Lee

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

View quotes by Gilbert Keith Chesterton

I would never speak to him again after what he did to me. After all the stuff he said about me on Howard Stern? That guy is a joke.
View quotes by Paris Hilton

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
View quotes by Georg Lichtenberg

'Colin is the sort of name you give your goldfish for a joke.'
View quotes by Colin Firth

One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit.
View quotes by Jean De La Bruyere

When these comedic touches come along, it is hard sometimes not to laugh before telling the joke when it's funny.
View quotes by Jim Frey

I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show how they cut off his head. If you don't, it's like telling a dirty joke and leaving out the punch line.

View quotes by Roman Polanski

The game of cricket is no joke
To us who neither drink or smoke
Games are won and runs are made
By girls who stick to lemonade.
View quotes by Nat Gubbins

A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance - you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke.

View quotes by Arthur Miller

You think a student leaves each week because they are out of the academy. This is just a cover up to hide serious injury that has occured! Malachi has only one ear and is now wearing one of those joke rubber ones - it's very noticeable but people are too polite to say!
View quotes by David Sneddon

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.
View quotes by Oliver Goldsmith

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
View quotes by Charles Brower

A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke.
View quotes by Max Eastman



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