Here are a list of Quotes from the delightful Northern Irish Comedian Danny McCrossan
Even the most powerful lie detector invented couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman, however, women rarely have lunch with lie detectors… - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian
See women need to talk because they feel like they have to have adequate levels of communication in order to sustain a healthy and open relationship, whereas men are only driven to speak because of matters beyond their control, like not being able to find clean socks. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
In Pagan times, uninspired people made sacrifices at the altar, and today, thanks to marraige, many still do. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
When women are bored they do the usual things, they eat, they go shopping, they neurotically judge the looks of other women, but men, men invade another country! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Anything that I’ve ever done that ended up worthwhile, initially scared me to death. Wether it was walking out on stage for that very first time, or asking a girl to include me in her plans for the future, but you know what, You have to risk everything sometimes or you risk even more. It’s not the challenges we face that define us, it’s the actions we take. - Danny McCrossan -Northern irish Comedian.
Everyone had big plans for me when I was younger, it was a cliche “Danny can do anything he wants to do” So I did the only thing I ever thought was worthwhile, bring laughter into the world. How I came to been seen as somewhat of a dissapointment to all those people who had made plans for me, well that still makes me chuckle. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
You learn alot in your teenage years, for instance I learned that if you’re ever being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a little tunnel, then onto a mini seesaw and then jump through a ring of fire, they’ve trained for that y’see. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Asking people in Northern Ireland what they think of politics is like asking the Jews what they think of Hitler. - Danny MCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
There are too many warnings on packaging these days - defrost before eating - Use as directed - I mean, what’s next, you buy a packet of condoms, warning - may contain nuts! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I say don’t conform, don’t allow yourself to be pigeon holed, it’s no good for the soul, and the pigeon doesn’t enjoy it either. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I remember how nervous I was my very first gig and I remember when I walked out on stage and spoke those words, how the audience laughed and laughed. I swore, there and then, that one day I would have my revenge. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a door? - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
View quotes by Danny McCrossanYoung men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
View quotes by George ChapmanRevolutions are brought about by men, by men who think as men of action and act as men of thought.
View quotes by Kwame NkrumahHockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
View quotes by Tiger WoodsThe real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
View quotes by Sydney HarrisMen act like women and it's difficult to have a relationship because I like men in that old fashioned way.
View quotes by Sharon StoneSome men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. (Catch-22)
View quotes by Joseph HellerAlmost all the noblest things that have been achieved in the world, have been achieved by poor men; poor scholars, poor professional men, poor artisans and artists, poor philosophers, poets, and men of genius.
View quotes by Albert PikeWomen are so wet. They moan that men are rude to them, but then men are just as rude to men.
View quotes by Ann WiddecombeBring me men to match my mountains: Bring me men to match my plains... Men with empires in their purpose and new eras in their brains.
View quotes by Sam FossShe's safe just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised, and you get to die for her just like you promised... So we're all men of our word really... except Elizabeth who is, in fact a woman. - Pirates of the Caribbean
View quotes by Johnny DeppThe one thing that men and women have in common - they both like the company of men
View quotes by Michael DouglasThe idea that men are created free and equal is both true and misleading: men are created different; they lose their social freedom and their individual autonomy in seeking to become like each other.
View quotes by David RiesmanOnly men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear.
View quotes by Anatole FranceTo understand the mysteries of life you must look around and within. You will see patterns everywhere; patterns that seem to manifest themselves over and over again. These patterns exist intertwined within nature and man bridging the gap between the enigma of self and universe. You see them in spiraling galaxies and the Mandelbrot fractal of fossilized Ammonoidea; growing from the unknown to atoms to molecules to solar systems to galaxies to the paradoxical expanses of the universe with origins and destinations unknown; just like us in birth and death. The similarities of tree branches, rivers and blood veins. The power of cellular division and nuclear fission, the patterns of finger prints like endoplasmic reticulum, or a black opal's play of fire like the nebula of supernova. Moon shots are like protoplasmic lurches, while simple thoughts and observations of the nature around us take us beyond the unknown. The clues to the great mystery are all around us and deep within us.
View quotes by Bryant H McGillThese are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it
View quotes by Charles BarkleyMan-like is it to fall into sin,
Fiend-like is it to dwell therein,
Christ-like is it for sin to grieve,
God-like is it all sin to leave
View quotes by Friedrich Von LogauI guess I like them a bit rough around the edges - like you need to take them home and give them a good scrub (on men)
View quotes by Cat DeeleyNot to engage in the pursuit of ideas is to live like ants instead of like men.
View quotes by Mortimer AdlerThe big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten.
View quotes by George William CurtisView Results: page 1
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