Here are a list of Quotes from the delightful Northern Irish Comedian Danny McCrossan
Even the most powerful lie detector invented couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman, however, women rarely
have lunch with lie detectors… - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian
See women need to talk because they feel like they
have to
have adequate levels of communication in order to sustain a healthy and open relationship, whereas men are only driven to speak because of matters beyond their control, like not being able to find clean socks. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
In Pagan times, uninspired people made sacrifices at the altar, and today, thanks to marraige, many still do. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
When women are bored they do the usual things, they eat, they go shopping, they neurotically judge the looks of other women, but men, men invade another country! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Anything that I’ve ever done that ended up worthwhile, initially scared me to death. Wether it was walking out on stage for that very first time, or asking a girl to include me in her plans for the future, but you know what, You
have to risk everything sometimes or you risk even more. It’s not the challenges we face that define us, it’s the actions we take. - Danny McCrossan -Northern irish Comedian.
Everyone had big plans for me when I was younger, it was a cliche “Danny can do anything he wants to do” So I did the only thing I ever thought was worthwhile, bring laughter into the world. How I came to been seen as somewhat of a dissapointment to all those people who had made plans for me, well that still makes me chuckle. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
You learn alot in your teenage years, for instance I learned that if you’re ever being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a little tunnel, then onto a mini seesaw and then jump through a ring of fire, they’ve trained for that y’see. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
Asking people in Northern Ireland what they think of politics is like asking the Jews what they think of Hitler. - Danny MCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
There are too many warnings on packaging these days - defrost before eating - Use as directed - I mean, what’s next, you buy a packet of condoms, warning - may contain nuts! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I say don’t conform, don’t allow yourself to be pigeon holed, it’s no good for the soul, and the pigeon doesn’t enjoy it either. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
I remember how nervous I was my very first gig and I remember when I walked out on stage and spoke those words, how the audience laughed and laughed. I swore, there and then, that one day I would
have my revenge. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a door? - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.
View quotes by Danny McCrossan'Rhythm is something you either
have or don't
have, but when you
have it you
have it all over.'
View quotes by Elvis Presley''I
have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I
have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I
have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and I missed. I
have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's precisely why I succeed''.
View quotes by Michael JordanDo not
have evil-doers for friends, do not
have low people for friends:
have virtuous people for friends,
have for friends the best of men.
View quotes by George SantayanaDemocracy is the most vile form of government... democracies
have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention:
have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property: and
have in general been as short in their lives as they
have been violent in their deaths.
View quotes by James MadisonWomen now
have choices. They can be married, not married,
have a job, not
have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men
have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
View quotes by Tim AllenWhich is better: to
have fun with fungi or to
have Idiocy with ideology, to
have wars because of words, to
have tomorrow's misdeeds out of yesterday's miscreeds?
View quotes by Aldous HuxleyI think that it's always possible to
have a great company if you
have great ideas. I will say that since the web has become more commercialized, it also takes some good financial resources to build a great business, but as I always say, you
have to
have the idea first.
View quotes by Jerry YangSo many players
have come and gone who
have been absolutely no good to the game or the clubs who bought them. But the agents will
have made money once again and the game in this country will
have suffered.
View quotes by Mike NewellI was looking in the mirror today and my waist is still 28 inches. I think it's all because I
have a large bosom and a large ass. I
have a large ass and it always just looks like I'm bigger than the rest of the girls. I could lose 20 pounds and I'm still going to
have these knockers and I'm going to
have this ass, and that's just the way it is.
View quotes by Serena WilliamsIf you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it. Do this, and you will
have calm and drowsy nights, with all of the good business you
have now and none of the bad. If you
have time, don't wait for time.
View quotes by Benjamin Franklin'Six months before he died, my grand-father came to Australia to try to explain to me that he was dying. I was a young kid, very much into myself at the time. I was busking on the streets just to make enough money to pay my rent, There was this Japanese restaurant I'd always wanted to eat at but couldn't afford, so I suggested we go there.' It was an unfortunate choice. In Weans' weakened condition, the smell of the rice and soya sauce brought back memories of the Second World War. 'We couldn't
have the talk he wanted to,' says Crowe.
'The day he died, I was in the kitchen of a flat in Woollarah, (an eastern suburb of Sydney). 'Suddenly a kookaburra bird flew in the window. It just looked at me. I knew my grandfather had died. I phoned home and my mother confirmed it. 'I insisted the bird was my grandfather's spirit, but my mom would
have nothing of it.'
One day last year, Crowe had a dream in which he was holding his mother and she was crying. He phoned home immediately.
'My mother said a woman who had worked closely with my grandfather had come to visit and, without prompting, had told her that on the day my grandfather died a bird had visited her as well. 'Learning this had reduced my mother to tears.'
Crowe says he believes that 'with all this talk of angels, maybe they are just birds sent to us by those who
have crossed over.' Tuesday, March 14, 2000
View quotes by Russell CroweIt's going to take a certain man for me to ever get involved with, because he'll
have to realize I don't
have two children, I
have three. Tommy is always going to always be a part of my life.
View quotes by Pamela AndersonI know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they
have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they
have proudly taught to others, and which they
have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.
View quotes by TolstoyFollow your dreams, because you wouldn't want it so bad if you couldn't
have it. The universe gives you these dreams because you can
have them. If you're willing to work for it, you can
have anything you want.
View quotes by Michael FlatleyWhatever happens, there are always things you could
have done better. You score two goals and you usually feel you could
have done better.You score two goals and you usually feel you could
have scored a third. That's perfectionism. That's what makes you progress in life.
View quotes by Eric Cantona'I
have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I
have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I
have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.'
View quotes by Anne FrankWhen you don't
have any money, the problem is food. When you
have money, it's sex. When you
have both it's health.
View quotes by J P DonleavyI'm so tired of hearing casting directors ask if I
have a sore throat. The people who
have told me that my voice is distinctive, it's unusual, those people
have always been close to my heart
View quotes by Scarlett JohanssonIn crossing a heath, suppose I pitched my foot against a stone, and were asked how the stone came to be there: I might possibly answer, that for any thing I know to the contrary, it had lain there for ever: nor would it perhaps be very easy to show the absurdity of this answer. But suppose I had found a watch upon the ground, and it should be inquired how the watch happened to be in that place; I should hardly think of the answer which I had before given, that for any thing I knew, the watch might
have always been there. Yet why should not this answer serve for the watch, as well as for the stone? why is it not as admissable in the second case as in the first? For this reason, and for no other, viz., that when we come to inspect the watch, we perceive (what we could not discover in the stone) that its several parts are framed and put together for a purpose . . . This mechanism being observed . . . the inference, we think, is inevitable, that the watch must
have had a maker; that there must
have existed, at some time, and at some place of other, an artificer or artificers, who formed it for the purpose which we find it actually to answer; who comprehended its construction, and designed its use.
View quotes by William PaleyView Results: page 1
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