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Here are a list of Quotes from the delightful Northern Irish Comedian Danny McCrossan

Even the most powerful lie detector invented couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman, however, women rarely have lunch with lie detectors… - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian

See women need to talk because they feel like they have to have adequate levels of communication in order to sustain a healthy and open relationship, whereas men are only driven to speak because of matters beyond their control, like not being able to find clean socks. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

In Pagan times, uninspired people made sacrifices at the altar, and today, thanks to marraige, many still do. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

When women are bored they do the usual things, they eat, they go shopping, they neurotically judge the looks of other women, but men, men invade another country! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

Anything that I’ve ever done that ended up worthwhile, initially scared me to death. Wether it was walking out on stage for that very first time, or asking a girl to include me in her plans for the future, but you know what, You have to risk everything sometimes or you risk even more. It’s not the challenges we face that define us, it’s the actions we take. - Danny McCrossan -Northern irish Comedian.

Everyone had big plans for me when I was younger, it was a cliche “Danny can do anything he wants to do” So I did the only thing I ever thought was worthwhile, bring laughter into the world. How I came to been seen as somewhat of a dissapointment to all those people who had made plans for me, well that still makes me chuckle. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

You learn alot in your teenage years, for instance I learned that if you’re ever being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a little tunnel, then onto a mini seesaw and then jump through a ring of fire, they’ve trained for that y’see. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

Asking people in Northern Ireland what they think of politics is like asking the Jews what they think of Hitler. - Danny MCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

There are too many warnings on packaging these days - defrost before eating - Use as directed - I mean, what’s next, you buy a packet of condoms, warning - may contain nuts! - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

I say don’t conform, don’t allow yourself to be pigeon holed, it’s no good for the soul, and the pigeon doesn’t enjoy it either. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

I remember how nervous I was my very first gig and I remember when I walked out on stage and spoke those words, how the audience laughed and laughed. I swore, there and then, that one day I would have my revenge. - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

The sign said “This door to remain closed at all times” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a door? - Danny McCrossan - Northern Irish Comedian.

View quotes by Danny McCrossan

Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.
View quotes by Dave Allen

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.
View quotes by Colin Farrell

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
View quotes by Brendan Behan

The dust of some is Irish earth,
Among their own they rest.
View quotes by John Kells Ingram

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same.

View quotes by Iris Murdoch

'I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my Mum. I know I've got Irish blood because I wake up everyday with a hangover.'
View quotes by Noel Gallagher

I'm irish but I design something that is quintessentially English and I love hats.
View quotes by Philip Treacy

I think she's amazing - and not just because she is Irish
(yeah right Louis, on Nadine)
View quotes by Louis Walsh

People have been asking me what the Irish - in one word - will bring to the Ryder Cup.....alcohol. And if I could just add something to that - plenty of it!
View quotes by Paul McGinley

Peter Mandelson has hardly been in Brussels two weeks and already Wales has fallen into the Irish Sea.
View quotes by Michael Ancram

One of the Irish players scooped it back after the whistle and to our surprise the referee then gave a turnover.
View quotes by Josh Lewsey

I've been told I have an Irish temper, I know I have Scottish thrift, and, like the English, I love a good show.
View quotes by Jeanette MacDonald

Freshly blows the wind homewards: my Irish child, where are you dwelling? (Tristan und Isolde)
View quotes by Richard Wagner

I think everyone will recognise the positive contribution that Tony Blair has made to the development of the Irish peace process.
View quotes by Martin McGuinness

I think he was the first alternative stand-up to have his own show on TV and he was a torchbearer for all the excellent Irish comics who have followed in recent years. [on Dave Allen]
View quotes by Eddie Izzard

Rich and rare were the gems she wore, And a bright gold ring on her wand she bore (Irish Melodies)
View quotes by Thomas Moore

I suffer from Irish-Catholic guilt. Guilt is a good reality check. It keeps that 'do what makes you happy' thing in check.
View quotes by Edward Burns

The rain was dashing in torrents against the window-panes, and the wind sweeping in heavy and fitful gusts along the dreary and deserted streets, as a party of three persons sat over their wine, in that stately old pile which once formed the resort of the Irish Members, in College Green, Dublin, and went by the name of Daly's Clubhouse
View quotes by Charles James Lever



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