Jokes Quotes

Quote of the Day

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
View quotes by Marilyn Monroe

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
View quotes by Henry Cate VII

Paul Hunter liked to have his fun and jokes on all the players
View quotes by Terry Griffiths

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
View quotes by Henry Cate

A civil servant doesn't make jokes
View quotes by Eugene Ionesco

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
View quotes by David Ogilvy

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
View quotes by George Eliot

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
View quotes by Glen Campbell

People have said they've never laughed at a single one of my jokes, so hey at least that makes this consistent!
View quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
View quotes by David Letterman

People think he goes in and tells jokes with clowns' feet and a rubber nose on, but he has a lot more to offer than that.
View quotes by Alex McLeish

Come on everyone, let's spread some Seany love! Everyone was so serious in the house that I was just trying to liven things up a little bit with my jokes and pranks.
View quotes by Seany O'Kane

She must know all the needs of a rational being,
Be skilled to keep counsel, to comfort, to coax
And, above all things else, be accomplished at seeing
My jokes. [A Plea for Trigamy]
View quotes by Sir Owen Seaman

Honest good humour is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant
View quotes by Washington Irving

If he fluffed and fumbled that was natural. If he told awful jokes people liked that. He did the programme so well on a friendly, human basis. [on Richard Whiteley]
View quotes by Austin Mitchell

The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
View quotes by Heywood Broun

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
View quotes by Dolly Parton

The booger jokes. And my editor always takes out four letter words when I put then in the children's books. And the sex parts [on the difference between kids and adults books]
View quotes by Meg Cabot

I don't drink or smoke and I don't like smoky places. I once drank half a pint and I was drunk. When I'm drunk I tell stupid jokes about sex and it's really not me this other character comes out and I don't like him. I tried it for a while to get in with the lads but couldn't hack it.
View quotes by Benjamin Zephaniah

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
View quotes by Fred Allen

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