I don't mind making
jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
View quotes by Marilyn MonroeI'm not offended by all the dumb blonde
jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
View quotes by Dolly PartonThe best ideas come as
jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
View quotes by David OgilvyWe are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with
jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
View quotes by Fred AllenShe must know all the needs of a rational being,
Be skilled to keep counsel, to comfort, to coax
And, above all things else, be accomplished at seeing
My
jokes. [A Plea for Trigamy]
View quotes by Sir Owen SeamanI don't drink or smoke and I don't like smoky places. I once drank half a pint and I was drunk. When I'm drunk I tell stupid
jokes about sex and it's really not me this other character comes out and I don't like him. I tried it for a while to get in with the lads but couldn't hack it.
View quotes by Benjamin ZephaniahPeople make
jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
View quotes by Dolly PartonI know these
jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
View quotes by David LettermanThe most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the
jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
View quotes by Heywood BrounDifferent taste in
jokes is a great strain on the affections.
View quotes by George EliotIf he fluffed and fumbled that was natural. If he told awful
jokes people liked that. He did the programme so well on a friendly, human basis. [on Richard Whiteley]
View quotes by Austin MitchellA civil servant doesn't make
jokesView quotes by Eugene IonescoHonest good humour is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the
jokes are rather small and laughter abundant
View quotes by Washington IrvingThe problem with political
jokes is they get elected.
View quotes by Henry CatePeople think he goes in and tells
jokes with clowns' feet and a rubber nose on, but he has a lot more to offer than that.
View quotes by Alex McLeishI guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many
jokes as he thought he did.
View quotes by Glen CampbellThe problem with political
jokes is they get elected.
View quotes by Henry Cate VIIPaul Hunter liked to have his fun and
jokes on all the players
View quotes by Terry GriffithsCome on everyone, let's spread some Seany love! Everyone was so serious in the house that I was just trying to liven things up a little bit with my
jokes and pranks.
View quotes by Seany O'KanePeople have said they've never laughed at a single one of my
jokes, so hey at least that makes this consistent!
View quotes by Mitch HedbergView Results: page 1
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