My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield quote We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield quote When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield quote At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield quote What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield quote What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield quote When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield quote With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield quote Biography
American comedian, 1921+
